Troubled Heart

Janet is twisting and turning in her bed, trying hard to sleep; something is bothering her tonight. Perhaps the encounter with Mable Fernandez and Samantha Gan has affected her. She is not sure of many things, mostly with her future, especially marriage life. She cannot think of marrying anyone except to Daniel. He is her first love, her only love. It puts the smile back on her face when she thinks of him, knowing that he truly loves her ; they can be so happy together. But, marriage life is such a huge thing, requiring both of them to make lot of adjustments and sacrifices. Marriage is not just about sharing a life together; it’s about building a life together. She would have to live with another human being for 40 years or more; learning to live day in and day out with someone who was raised differently from her, with different habits and rules. Would they be happy together? Would Daniel change after marriage? Would she change? Doubts set in. How many children are they going to have? Will she keep her present name or take his name? Daniel does not have a career yet and where is he going to settle down?. In KL or UK? She has not lived in the UK and so she needs to do a lot of adjustment, if Daniel wants to start his career in the UK. But, her parents need her around them; she is their favourite daughter, a doctor and the pride of her family. What’s the future going to be? Poor Janet is in state of emotional turmoil.

She woke up late the next day, feeling tired with puffy eyes from previous night’s insomnia. She remembers Lim Siew Eng, her good friend since secondary school. They also proceeded to Sixth Form in the same school. Sew Eng did not go to university although she had scored good grades and would have easily beat her peers for a place in University Malaya. Friends wondered why she did not continue her studies. And she never gave a convincing answer why she gave up her studies. But, soon after her Sixth Form, she got married to a man called Kim Soon. He was from another school and a year older. Siew Eng is the first of Janet’s friends to get married. She married at such a young age. Already she has 2 kids. Janet wonders how her friend is doing. The real reason for her inquisitiveness is she wants to know whether her friend has a successful marriage, whether such a marriage could survive the test of time. She could learn from her friend’s life experience. “Let’s go find out”, Janet thinks to herself.

“Oh. What a lovely baby you have Siew Eng. What’s her name?” “Her name is Ling Ling.” “How old is she?” “She is 2 years old.” Janet is paying a visit to her friend’s house. They are sipping Chinese tea in the lounge, exchanging pleasantries with Ling Ling playing with her toys in her baby cot at the corner of the lounge. Siew Eng’s elder is also a son called Lek Lek. He is 5 years old and Siew Eng puts him in the play school situated two miles from her house. Her husband Kim Soon is working in a commercial bank as a branch inspection officer. His job requires him to travel outstations to where the bank’s branches are situated. He goes there basically to check on the operations of these branches to ensure that they follow the procedures and adhere to the policies as laid down by the bank’s head office. Kim Soon joined the bank straight after getting his Form Sixth results. He was not as good as Siew Eng in studies; just an average sort of student. He never wanted to enter university anyway, and studied enough just to pass his exam. He always wanted to work in a bank. Bank employees are held in high esteem by the people and their salaries are higher compared to other employees in other industries. Moreover, bank employees enjoy attractive financial benefits such as low interest loans to purchase houses and cars as well as allowances for those engaged in outstation assignments. “How did you manage with two young kids Siew Eng? Must be very taxing on you.”, Janet asks. “I have help from Kim Soon’s family. They are such an amazingly closely knit family. Without their help I don’t think I could cope!”. “What do you mean?”, Janet enquires. When I have Lek Lek, Kim Soon’s mum came to stay with us. She cooked for me, washed our clothes, and cared for my baby. She would be the first to get up to do the household chores and last to go to bed. She is so generous, warm, caring and kind to us. She is such a wonderful mother-in-law. And when I have Ling Ling, her eldest sister came to stay with us. She too looked after our needs so well. For the first month of my confinement, she would not allow me to do any housework at all. She even made breakfast for me and brought it to my room. Even now his family is helping us out. Lek Lek is in play school and I have to look after Ling Ling at home. So, in the mornings, Kim Soon would fetch him to the play school and in the evening his younger sister would fetch Lek Lek back to the house because Kim Soon works late in the office. If Kim Soon goes to work in outstations, his sister would volunteer to ferry Lek Lek. I have never seen such a tightly knit family. Their family is so united. They are so good to each other. And Kim Soon is a good husband.”, Siew Eng is proudly introducing her husband and his family. “Is that why you didn’t go to go to university because you wanted to marry him?”. “We are good friends Janet and I know you can keep a secret.” What? What secret?”, Janet feels the urge to want to get down to the bottom of her friend’s untold story. “Remember there was a few weeks in our Lower Sixth’s days when I did not go to school?” “Yes. I remember Siew Eng. You told us that you have to visit an ailing relative in Singapore.” “It’s not true Janet. I went to have an abortion!”, Siew Eng reveals her story. “Oh my god. Really? I can’t believe this!”, Janet is shocked. “Kim Soon and I made love for the first time in our lives. We were young and foolish and didn’t know how to take precaution. I got pregnant. I felt so shamed and lost. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to tell anyone, including my parents. But Kim Soon said he loved me, he wanted to face up to his responsibility. So, in the end, he was the one who went to my house and told my parents. He told everything to my parents. He said he loved me, wanted me to keep the bay and marry me. My parents were furious, especially my father who to confront his family and to make a police report. Initially he thought the worst of Kim Soon. My father thought Kim Soon was just a playboy who plied on my innocence. My father lunged straight at him and threw a big punch on his face with his fist. He told him he was just a bad hat, a bad influence on me. How could he support a family when both us were still in school. Kim Soon did not react all this time. He just knelt in front of my parents and begged for forgiveness. My father had enough and threw him out of our house. I begged my father not to report to the police. I told him that I loved Kim Soon too and if he were to report to the police, Kim Soon’s future would be gone. Later, my father forced me to get an abortion.”, Siew Eng finally came out with her story. “After the abortion, I thought he would not see me again, that it was just a one night fling. But, Kim Soon persevered. He kept coming to my house to ask my parents for forgiveness. He said he wanted to prove to them that he really loved me and that he wanted to marry me after finishing school and getting a job. Many times my parents questioned me too. Each time, I told them I loved this boy and I would like to be married to him.” “Gosh, what a life you have Siew Eng”, Janet takes a deep breath, at the same time feeling happy for her friend whose relationship with Kim Soon turned out to be a happy one. But, at the same time, she is trying to understand the anomalies of it all. Some relationships which have all the trappings of a successful marriage turned out to be failed marriages. While other relationships which appear to be heading for disasters, surprisingly turned out to be successful marriages. So, what it takes to make a marriage work? Janet is troubled.

“Sister, how can a couple have a happy lasting marriage, and don’t just say ‘pray’ ok?”, Janet came for advice from her favourite nun, if as she knew what the nun’s answer will be.
“Not to pray child? I certainly will ask you to do so!”, Sister Mary of the Bukit Nanas Convent answers instantly. “Perhaps you should seek advice from an expert. There is a good marriage counselor in our community Janet. He is a qualified marriage counselor, who has seen and counseled many couples with marital problems. Some of his clients have personally told me that they were very happy with him and that they have benefitted from him. I can let him know you want to see him. His name is Dr. Gerard Lee.” “Marriage is such a personal thing. It’s like faith. Before you embrace it, you must try to understand it, ask questions about it , learn from the experience of the people, talk to the people who have experienced it”, Sister Mary cannot resist dishing out an advice even though she has given Janet an alternative.

“Yes. I must talk to Daniel. We must have a real heart to heart talk. We need to bring out all our concerns, all our issues and whatever doubts in our minds. We must start our marriage right from the very beginning”, Janet is feeling better, although the task ahead is yet to be carried out.

Aching Hearts

“Doe, a deer, a female deer, John!”, Janet stops her singing purposefully and points her index finger at her young student John. “Ray, a drop of golden sun”, John continues the lyrics and he then points his finger at Siew Keng. “Me, a name I call myself”, Siew Keng points to herself then she turns to Raju. Janet is enjoying the sing-along session with her charge. She has volunteered to help out in the seminary of the Little Sister of the Poor in Cheras. The nuns in the seminary has a mission to help the poor, especially kids from broken homes and underprivileged backgrounds. The mission is to give free tuition to these kids aimed at helping them to pass their exams. This year, Janet is tasked with organizing the Christmas Eve Cantata; a religious musical performed by children accompanied by an orchestra. She is preparing her children for the Christmas Eve performance in the St John’s Cathedral. “Listen boys and girls, geography is the study of the earth and its lands, features and inhabitants. It is good to learn geography because you would appreciate the earth and its peoples better if you travelled abroad when you grow up”, Mable is teaching geography to another group of children in the seminary. “Mathematics is one of the oldest and most important subjects. People like its challenge, its clarity, and the fact that you know when you are right. Many scientific inventions and discoveries would not be possible without mathematics. So, enjoy your mathematics.” ,Mrs. Gan is teaching her favourite subject, mathematics to her students in another classroom in the seminary. She is a mathematics teacher in a secondary school in Ampang. These women have all volunteered their free time to help in the seminary, run by the Catholic nuns.

Mable Razario is married to Peter Fernandez. They were childhood sweethearts and grew up in the Portuguese Settlement in Malacca. They are both born Catholics, a long lasting legacy left on the shores of Melacca by their seafaring ancestors from Portugal. Peter is older than Mable by just a year. He left the Settlement and came to KL to further his Sixth Form education. They kept in touch by letters which Peter wrote frequently. Most weekends, would see him riding his motor bike in the scorching sun, heading south to Malacca to meet his girlfriend. After finishing his Sixth Form, Peter decided he had enough of studies and applied to work in an insurance company. He secured the job easily over his competitors, due mainly to his pleasant personality, confidence and flawless English. He wrote and pleaded with Mable to join him in KL. Lovelorn Mable jumped at the opportunity and managed to get a job as an administrative executive in a college. They were happy together in KL. They loved the capital and its people. They are a likeable, generous and gregarious couple. They loved to party and played generous hosts to their friends by holding parties and gatherings in their rented apartment. Among their closest friends are friends and relatives from the same Portuguese Settlement in Malacca; some of whom could trace their ancestral roots to certain towns of Portugal. No matter how late they partied into the nights, came Sundays, they never failed to attend Mass and partook in Holy Communion. Soon, Peter got tired of working as an employee and he decided to venture into the antics business. He reckoned that with his networking built up during years in the insurance company and that the country was going through a prolonged economic boom, antics furniture would be a good business venture. He was proven right. For his business continued to grow and he was well off, although not yet a millionaire, He then proposed to Mable and they got married and had a memorable, beautiful church wedding. They have two children; a boy who is now 10 years old and a daughter who is now 8. Peter had a big break soon marrying Mable when the Saudi Royal Family ordered a large shipment of expensive rare antics furniture from him. Soon after that, opportunities knocked on his door and his business continued to grow and expand. Later he invited his own brother to join him. Peter is now a rich and successful businessman. He now travels first class to conduct business dealings in overseas destinations and stay in expensive posh hotels. Despite his wealth and changed lifestyle, he still remains true to Mable. He is also a good and dotting father to his children. He bought a two-acre piece of empty land in Bukit Tunku and built a big bungalow for his family. They often travel overseas for holidays during school breaks and he would buy Mable expensive gifts and toys for his children. Life seemed perfect. But Mable is unhappy.

Samantha Lee is married to Dr. Gan Kong Seng who is a lecturer in a renown public university. Dr. Gan is a brilliant scholar who obtained his PhD in mathematics from a prestigious English traditional university. Samantha was her student. He called her Sam. She idolized and adored him almost to the point of worshipping him. He would go out his way to help her in her studies, like staying back after class to tutor her in mathematics; much to the envy and also criticism from his other students. Samantha passed her Cambridge ‘A’ Level exams with good grades but did not go on to pursue further studies because her parents could not afford to put her into university plus they have to support her four younger brothers who were all of schooling ages. She applied for a teaching post in a primary school in KL. She was a competent and caring lecturer and often went out of her way to help her young students to cope with their mathematics; a commendable trait she learnt from Dr. Gan. After two years of teaching, she was promptly recommended for promotion to teach mathematics in a secondary school. Although they have a 11-year age gap, it did not deter their affection for each other. They soon embarked on a love relationship. Samantha comes from a Catholic family and Dr, Gan is brought up in the Taoist customs and traditions. Because of this religious difference, Samantha’s family was against their relationship initially. But, they could see Dr. Gan truly loved their daughter and that she was happy with him. He was very sensitive to her emotions and attentive to her needs. He accompanied her to attend mass in the Holy Rosary Church every Sunday. He even attended catechism classes to learn her faith and later became a convert. Samantha’s parents soon changed their opinion about Dr. Gan. They could see that he was successful in his job and earning high salary. Their daughter would have the love and security of a matured man. They got married in the Holy Rosary Church. They were happy together. His career blossomed too. They have four children. He was an excellent academician attached to the Malayan university. He has carried out high level research work on solving some of the most complex mathematics equations, wrote a best-selling text book on mathematics for upper secondary school children, and his writings were published in some of the world’s most respected journals and magazines. Dr. Gan is often invited by foreign universities and professional bodies to give talks or conduct seminars. He happily welcomed the opportunities as he would negotiate to include his family to accompany him for such engagements. Samantha’s knowledge also widened which helped in her job too. Dr, Gan loves his wife and is a wonderful father to his children. Life seemed blissful. But, like Mable Fernandez, Samantha Gan is unhappy too. Perhaps the reason for their volunteer to help out in the seminary is to find solace in the church, among the people whom they could find support from each other.

After their sessions with the children, the women volunteers would usually adjourn to the private lounge upstairs which is the residence of Sister Gertrude, the Mother Superior. They help themselves to the afternoon tea, coffee, kueh, biscuits and other tidbits. This is also an opportunity for them to catch up with each other and to engage in some gossiping in other people’s lives too. Sister Gertrude would sometimes join them in their little conversations and the ladies in luck today. Sister Gertrude is an Irish nun who is known for her soft and gentle manners. Much as she has a soft and gentle disposition, she also has a steely determination to finish any project that she has started with the best possible results. She hears everything, sees all things with quiet inquisitiveness and prays for those she piously refers to as ‘poor souls’. She is very popular among her women faithful and they respect and trust her for her genuine interest in their lives. They say she would carry their ‘secrets to her grave’. Today there only 4 of them in the private lounge. Sister Gertrude, Mable Fernandez, Samantha Gan and Janet.

“How’s the family, Mable?”, Sister Gertrude started the conversation with her soft voice. “We are fine, Sister. Thank you.”, Mable replies. “How are the children doing?”, Sister Gertrude continues. “Paul is doing well in school, Sister. He has joined the church choir and met some good friends there. Penelope is learning to play the piano. She is very musical. Paul says he wants to become a businessman like his father when he grows up”, Mable answers. “Yes. And how is Peter?”, Sister Gertrude continues with her routine. “He is doing great in his business Sister. He travels quite often overseas for business, mainly to Europe and India”, Mable lowers her voice and appears to lose composition. Suddenly, Mable bursts into tears. She promptly takes out her handkerchief from her handbag, covers her face and starts to sob uncontrollably. “Oh, Child! What’s wrong?”, Sister Gertrude asks with a worried tone. “I don’t know how to begin Sister. It’s so humiliating. It breaks my heart to say this”, Mable cries. “You can tell me child. What’s been bothering you?”, she would not give up. “It’s Peter. He has stopped going Church!”, Mable finally reveals her unhappiness. “What? Peter has stopped taking the communions? Oh God. How long has this been going on, Mable?”, Sister Gertrude is genuinely concerned. “He has not stopped going altogether Sister. He only goes when he feels like going. This has been going on for the past two years Sister. Sorry, I didn’t tell you.”, Mable finally reveals her unhappiness. “Each Saturday night, I cry myself to sleep. I feel so alone and empty without him beside me and the children in church on Sunday. I can feel some people persecute me with their telling eyes, as if it is my fault that my husband has stopped going to church. I can’t stand it any longer Sister!”, Mable is really depressed now. “You must have a heart to heart talk with Peter child. He is a good man. I am sure he will return to the Lord’s fold.”, Sister Gertrude advises. Mable then relates to Sister Gertrude the conversation she had with her husband. “You have changed Peter. Ever since you became rich, you are not the same man you used to be. You now have different friends. You play golf with them, drink with them and God knows what else you have been doing with them!”, Mable confronted her husband. “Sure. Do you think I can become rich just by playing a loving husband and a dotting father to my children? I have to network, work hard and play hard in order to build up my business. I have to provide for my family, giving my family the best I could. Is that wrong, Mable?”, Peter shouted back. “We were born into this religion, Mable. I just accepted it, practiced it, without really understanding it. But, just because I don’t go to church like the way I did before, doesn’t mean that I am going to change my religion. I am a businessman, I need to network to expand my business; that means I need to entertain my clients, play golf with them on Sundays sometimes. I still love you and our kids. I don’t keep a mistress like many successful businessmen do. I provide for all your needs and much more. Isn’t it sufficient? It’s not a big deal that I don’t accompany you and the kids to church every Sunday. I will go with you when I have the time. Can you try to understand? Your unhappiness hurts me too.”, Peter told Mable when they are lying in bed one night.

“I really feel for you Mable.”, Samantha Gan consoles her friend. “Thanks Sam”, Mable feels better with understanding friends around her today. Suddenly Samantha too bursts into tears. “Are you ok child?”, Sister Gertrude clasps her palms gently on Samantha’s. “I am having the same problem with my husband Sister. Dr. Gan has also refused to go to church with the family anymore.”, Samantha reveals. “Oh no. What’s got into Dr. Gan now?”, she enquires. “Dr. Gan has gone back to his old ways!”, Samantha exclaims tearfully. “What do you mean old ways, child?”, the nun is pressing her for an answer, but actually she likes to listen to other people’s private lives. “He is going back to his Taoist ways”, she says. “He says he doesn’t believe in the Catholic faith anymore. He says we are worshipping idols and follow outdated religious practices made by men!”, Samantha explains with sadness in her teary eyes. “Oh my God! Then, why did he marry you in the first place? Didn’t both of you talk about your faith before you got married to him? I thought he was converted.”, Sister Gertrude is trying hard to understand it all. “Of course we did Sister. He did accompany me and the children to Mass every Sunday in our early years of marriage. Then he started to lose interest and his visits became fewer and fewer over the years. Then last year, he just stopped going altogether!”, Samantha breaks down and cries. “Control yourself Sam. Crying won’t solve the problem, Did you talk it over with him?”, Sister Gertrude asks the same question she asked Mable earlier. Samantha then told Sister Gertrude and her friends around her what Dr. Gan has told her.

“Religion is a personal matter Sam. You have to understand that I was brought up in a Taoist family, steeped in our customs and traditions. My family and my forefathers have been praying to our ancestors for generations. You know when I was young, every evening I would light joss sticks and offer my respect to my ancestors and the deities. I stick joss sticks into the urns of the god of haven altar in front of the house, ancestors altar in the lounge and god of prosperity altar in the kitchen. I became a Catholic because of you. I love you, I wanted to marry you. I am sorry. Honestly Sam, I don’t believe in any religion at all. From the dawn of civilization, mankind always looked towards the sky for someone higher to believe in, When they cannot find answers to their problems, unable to comprehend certain events or happenings, they pray to the man in the man in the sky to for answers. I can understand why they are doing it. If it gives them temporary relief and comfort, why not. But, to call it God, is not my cup of tea. I think I am a decent man. I don’t gamble, smoke or womanize. I still love you and the kids. So, what’s the big deal if I am not, in your language, a practicing Catholic?” Dr. Gan explains to wife ruefully.

“Oh God! Oh my God! What’s the world has come to?”, Sister Gertrude then pulls the heads of both Mable and Samantha to her bosom, gently touching their cheeks, wiping away their tears, her troubled face looking at Janet. “Forgive them my Lord. For they don’t know what they are doing”, it pains Sister Gertrude to hear the heart breaking news about Peter Fernandez and Dr. Gan Kong Seng.

“We must pray for them”, Sister Gertrude gives her final solution. “Yes. Pray for THEM”, Janet adds thoughtfully.

Lucky Escape

Daniel is walking along Oxford Street. He is going to do some last minute shopping before going home. His university mates told him there are some really good bargains in Selfridges. There is an end season summer sale in Selfridges. He has already missed the famous Selfridges January sale due to preparation for his final exams and he is not going to miss this one. This famous department store on Oxford Street traditionally opens its door early on Boxing Day and thousands of bargain hunters would queue up from as early as 4.30am to get their hands on the goodies. The weather is gorgeous today with the friendly sun inviting Londoners to come out to embrace and celebrate its wonder. After walking along and window shopping the shops, he finally walks inside Selfridges. Bargain hunters are all over the store. Everyone looks happy and upbeat, with some frantically searching for their favourite items which today are all selling at discounted prices. The store is displaying men’s wear, women’s swear, accessories, beauty products, furniture, children’ wear, luggage, dresses, ladies handbags, leather wallets and home accessories with some items with an enormous 50 percent off some items. But, Daniel is focused on getting one thing. He is looking for a ring. He wants to Janet with a beautiful romantic ring. One exquisitely looking ring catches his eyes. It’s heart shaped sapphire is lightly bound by pretty, fully faceted diamonds. “This ring represents my love, loyalty and devotion to Janet”, Daniel is very pleased with himself. It would seal their love till death sets them apart. He picks it up to admire all the grandeur and beauty the ring could offer. At last he flips over the price tag to find out how much it costs. £9,999! “ Oh no. Can’t afford it”, Daniel takes hold of himself. “I shall get one at home. I am sure our Eastern jewelry is beautiful and good quality too but at cheaper price”, he tries to console himself. He excuses himself and walks towards the elevator to go up to the second floor which is the men’s wear department. As he is standing on the ascending elevator, he saw a little girl squatting in the corner at the base of the elevator, covering her face with her tiny fingers, sobbing. When he reaches the top, Daniel turns to his left and steps on the descending elevator. He wants to find out what happened to this little girl. “ Are you ok? Why are you crying little girl? Where’s your mum and dad?” he asks. “I don’t know. They have left me alone here!”, the little answers in between sobs. “What’s your name?”, Daniel enquires. “Jill…Woo wooo…”, the little gives her name and then starts to cry out loud. “Ok. Don’t cry. Don’t worry. Stay here. Don’t go anyway ok?. I will find your parents for you”, Daniel tries to calm her. Daniel alighted the elevator which took him to the ground floor. He walks hastily towards the department store’s entrance to seek out the elaborately decorated doorman. He told the doorman of the little girl’s plight. After a quick conversation, Daniel then went back to check on the little girl. Soon after, the public address system made an announcement informing the shoppers that there is a little girl wearing polka dotted pink dress has been separated from her parents and urged the parents to go to the security on the top floor. After awhile, a young couple with worried looks on their faces appeared; carrying bags of goodies with them, came rushing towards the little girl. “Jill! Thank God you are here! We have been looking everywhere for you darling”, the mother exclaims. Daniel then slipped quietly out of their focus and took the ascending elevator to the men’ floor to look for some men shirts for himself as well as for his father.
There some really nice long sleeved working shirts selling at bargain prices. He is spoilt for choices, unable to make up his mind whether to buy plain ones , color shirts or with stripes. Abruptly, he felt someone is tugging at his sleeve. Daniel turns round and sees a stern looking white man looking straight into his eyes. He has a serious as if wanting to tell him something. “You better go outside. Your friend is waiting for you”, the man says. “A friend waiting for me outside? No. I am here by myself”, Daniel tries to correct him. “I am sure of it. When you were talking to the little girl. Your friend asked me to tell you that he is a friend of yours, he comes from your country and he is waiting outside the departmental store for you. He says he has carried something from home for you”, the man insists matter-of-factly. Curious, Daniel then walks out of Selfridges to find out who this friend is? The man is following behind him. “Well, where is he?”, Daniel asks him. “Round the corner. I am positive.”, he answers. And so, Daniel starts walking further down the street towards the corner. Suddenly, a loud bang! Instantly, shoppers begin to rush out from the store with some covering with blood. People are crying and shouting, running in all directions. There was an explosion inside Selfridges and is now all dark, bellowing with smokes. It’s all very confusing. Worried, Daniel starts running too. He kept running and soon found himself in the Hyde Park corner. A bomb has been exploded inside the famous departmental store. Daniel walks hurriedly along, thinking how lucky he was. He shudders to think what would have happened to him had he not come of the Selfridges in time. Suddenly his thoughts are interrupted on the sight of a man sitting on the bench in the Park, reading newspapers and eating his sandwich at the same time. “Hello. I recognize you. You are the guy who told me to go out of Selfridges to meet my friend. Thank you so very much my friend, You saved my life!”, Daniel stretches out his hand, wanting to shake hands with the man. “Nay, don’t have to thank me mate, It’s nothing”, he replies coldly. “Those bloody terrorists would have blown us up in pieces!”, Daniel says angrily. “Terrorists? What do you mean?”, he sounds annoyed. “Haven’t you read in the papers? The IRA are carrying out bombing campaigns in the streets of London to force a political solution in Northern Ireland”, Daniel tries to give a reason for his outburst. “You are not Irish are you?”, he hopes that he is not, lest he may have offended him unsuspectingly. “I am Irish!”, he replies proudly. “You are Chinese. What do you know about Irish politics?”, the man replies. “It is the fault of the English. They asked for it! You must not believe all the things being written in the papers. You must understand Irish history ”, he seems deeply affected by the politics in Ireland. “No. I am not from China. I am from Malaysia”, Daniel told him.
“You see, the British had ruled us for centuries and then they decided to split us up in 1920. They created two Irelands. An independent state in the South which is predominantly Catholics, with Dublin as its capital and a smaller district in the North which is called Ulster, with a Protestant majority which remained part of the United Kingdom. The Catholic minority, many of them with nationalist sympathies, found themselves faced with discrimination for jobs, housing, and in their treatment before the law. The Protestants controlled the patronage that doled out government jobs, and they are fiercely loyal to the British crown. Northern Ireland 's shipyards, linen mills, and other manufacturing hubs contributed significantly to the economy of the British Empire. Yet the Catholics were largely excluded from this prosperity, with many of them remained unemployed in their own country. Naturally tensions arose between the Catholic minority and the Protestants. This then led to the British government deployed army troops, ostensibly to protect the Catholic minority. These conflicts split the IRA too. And in 1969, the IRA splintered into two groups; with the Dublin-based members n the South advocated a united socialist Ireland by peaceful means, and the Belfast-based Provisional IRA in the North, we called them ‘Provos’ who opted to use violence as a catalyst for unification. The Provos conducted many paramilitary campaigns in Northern Ireland and England. Their aim is to end British rule and to create a united Ireland”, the man is explaining Irish politics to Daniel. “So, can a political solution be found then?”, Daniel enquires. “Very difficult. Irish people are divided by religions”, the man answers. “Again, this has to do with the English!”, this man really habours some unfriendly negative feelings towards the English. “This has to do with the English?”, Daniel wants him to talk more on this. “You see, England used to be a Catholic country, until Henry VIII broke away from Rome”, he begins. “Because he wanted to get rid of his first wife, Catherine of Aragon so that he could marry Anne Boleyn?”, Daniel tries to show off his knowledge, albeit limited in this subject. “Precisely!”, at he agrees for a change. “Well, what has his marital problems got to do with the Irish people?”, Daniel enquires. “The English Reformation started in the reign of Henry VIII and it has far reaching consequences in Ireland. It was the period when England broke away from the Roman Catholic Church. He was a Roman Catholic and the head of the Church was the Pope who was based in Rome. The Roman Catholic faith believed in marriage for life. Husbands could not simply decide to divorce their wives and re-marry. The Catholic Church in Rome simply would not allow it. But, Henry went ahead and ordered the Archbishop of Canterbury to grant him a divorce in 1533 and declared himself the head of the church. He also declared himself the head of the Irish Church. However, for the Irish people, the whole English Reformation issue was a sign of English supremacy over them. They began to change our laws to be subservient to the English laws. The Irish people by nature, were nationalistic and fiercely protective of their Catholic faith. And so they disliked the way the English monarch had placed them in such a dilemma. But in 1533, few were brave enough to question him, for the consequence for doing that would certainly lead to death. By then, the seed of division between Catholics and Protestants was already sown. “But, history books wrote that the English at the time were also unhappy at the way the Roman Catholic Church had used them as a source of money, right? The English civilians had to pay for everything to Rome. For example, they had to pay to get married, to bury someone on their land and even had to pay to get their babies baptised”, Daniel remembers his history texts. “Sure, but this is a different issue”, the Irish man replies.

“The English are still clinging to their past glory. They must know that their empire is crumbling, nations of the world want their freedom and that means independence from foreign rule. All the Irish people want is self-rule.”, the Irish man says. “But, can’t you find a solution by peaceful means?’ None at the moment. That’s why other means are necessary. Like Mao Tze Tung says that ‘power comes from the barrel of the gun”, he quotes. “But, such actions would also alienate you from the peaceful loving nations, including people from your country. Aren’t you disgusted by the act of terrorists few years ago in the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich whereby members of the Israel Olympic team were taken hostage and murdered by the terrorist group called Black September? Isn’t the IRA’s bombing campaigns which also resulted in the loss of innocent lives, tantamount to terrorism?”, Daniel continues to evolve him in this debate. “If you want to equate it with terrorism, then all political struggles are terrorism in nature. From the days of Alexander the Great, Jenhis Khan, Kublai Khan to the two modern day World Wars, millions of people were tortured, killed, murdered and butchered in every conceivable way you can imagine. Isn’t it so?”, the Irish man replies in defense of the IRA. “All political struggles are terrorism in nature? That’s a difficult question to answer. But if it involves the killing of innocent people, then the means may not justify the end”, Daniel tries hard to find an intelligent answer.

“I need to know this. Why did you alert me of the bomb threat?”, Daniel wants to know before they part company. “Because of what you did for the little girl”, he reveals. “Would you have alerted me if I had not spoken to the little girl?”, Daniel asks. “Probably not”, the Irish man replies without hesitation. “Are you a terrorist?”, Daniel suddenly pops the question. “Terrorist, me? No. No way”, he answers with his commanding voice convincely. Before Daniel could shake his hands, the Irish man promptly stands up and walks towards the London underground and quickly melts into the busy crowd.

Mother Land

Daniel is sitting alone in the middle compartment of the British Rail train heading back to London. He has bade goodbye to his adopted parents, Freddy and Kathy Brown. His thoughts are still with the Browns. He carries with him fond memories of Freddy and Kathy Brown and at the same time leaving them with a heavy heart. They are getting old and frail. They are all alone, with each other for companionship and looking after one another But they are getting old and frail. Charles and his wife Mei Ling could only visit them once a year , usually during summer holidays, as they are busy with their work in Hong Kong. Elizabeth and her husband Peter and their children used to visit them often but they have decided to emigrate to Canada 6 months go where Peter has applied and got a job with the Royal Bank of Canada. This lovely couple only have themselves to look after. It was also an emotional meeting for the Browns. They realised that Daniel is unhappy, cannot decide what to do with his future. But more importantly, they know that his heart is back home and they cannot bear the thought of not seeing their favourite adopted son again whom they have grown to love. Freddy wanted to cheer him up. “Here. Take this book with you. You can read it to while away your time on the train. It’s a nice story to put your smile back in your face”, Freddy wants to cheer him up when seeing Daniel off at the railway station “ Don’t worry too much, Son. Search deeper and you would find an answer. Mum is right. Follow your heart. Just like the horse in this book. He won big races from his heart, not his legs“, Freddy advises. The railway train is cruising along the countryside. Feeling bored, Daniel slips his fingers into his jacket pocket and promptly takes out the paperback given by Freddy Brown. ‘The Magnificent Seabiscut’, that’s the title of the book. He starts flipping through the pages carelessly. But the more he reads, the more he is drawn into the marvellous story unveils in the book.
Seabiscuit was the Cinderella of horseracing’s rags to riches story. He was an ungainly outcast who became one of the most remarkable thoroughbred racehorses in history. The story also tells the lives of the people around him—the owner, trainer, and jockeys. Seabiscuit was born on 23 May, 1934. He was the son of Hard Track which itself was the son of the great thoroughbred Man o'War. Seabiscuit was bought by a wealthy bicycle repair man turned car dealer named Charles Howard who bought the three-year-old horse for a mere U.S. $8,000. At the time, nobody thought he was a worthy buy as the horse’s stumpy legs would not straighten completely. They didn’t give him a chance, with some sports writers said he ‘wasn't worth the hay in a first-class barn’. But Seabicuit had a believer in horse trainer Tom Smith. Smith found a jockey in Johnny "Red" Pollard, who like Seabiscuit, was not considered a great prospect and nobody gave him a chance to win races too. He was one of seven children born to a bankrupt brick manufacturer who spent years at the country’s lowliest racetracks. At 5’7”, he was too tall to be a jockey. Worse still, he was blind in one eye, a condition he tried to keep a secret. Without bifocal vision, a jockey would not be able to tell how far ahead horses are ahead of him in a race. Such was the unlikely combination surrounding the horse. But against all odds, Seabiscuit became an instant success, winning race after race. It was the period of the Great Depression. Many Americans had lost their jobs and millions are on the edge, depending on government handouts. Everyone was looking for a second chance in life. Seabiscuit was given a second chance and made the most of it. This relatively unknown horse lived out their dream. It was in 1938 when Seabiscut was fielded in a one-to-one match against the mighty War Admiral. War Admiral was an elegant horse which has incredible credentials and was considered invincible at the time. He was an East Coast champion and winner of the Triple Crown—the Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont Stakes. But the rider was not Johnny Pollard. For Pollard had fallen and shattered his collarbone, broke his shoulder and fractured his ris while riding another horse. Pollard’s friend and competitor named George Woolf took the reins of Seabiscuit. The race became a contest between two worlds; the East Coast establishment of rich bankers and their elegant horses against a nation of disillusioned have-nots. The match was held at Maryland’s Pimlico Racecourse, resulting in Seabiscuit beating War Admiral by four lengths. Everyone went crazy; with sports writers described it the greatest race in history. But the best quote came from Johnny Pollard who was listening to the match commentary from his hospital bed, who said that "He made a rear admiral out of War Admiral." Seabiscuit was so popular at the peak of his career in 1938 that he received more column inches than anyone else in the United States; even President Roosevelt ranked second. Pollard returned and rode Seabiscuit in 1940 for the one race that had eluded the horse: California's Santa Anita. Seventy-five thousand people came to watch the race, the biggest crowd ever to attend an American horse race. They were not disappointed as they watched Seabiscuit came from behind to win in the fastest mile and a quarter the track had seen. Seabiscuit died of a heart attack on May 17, 1947.
The train finally pulled a halt at the Liverpool Street Railway Station. As Daniel is approaching the exit, he hears a familiar voice calling, “Hey Daniel!”. Daniel turns around and notices John Cole waving at him. He is carrying a haversack on his back. Looks like he is going somewhere; possibly a camping trip or something of that sort. “Want to join me for a drink?”, he invites Daniel. “Why not. Not much to do on a Sunday evening anyway”, Daniel thinks to himself. They went to the nearby pub and ordered two glasses of beers. John Cole studied the same course at the same university as Daniel. He is a quiet sort of fellow; always wearing a thought on his face. But, at the same time, he is easily approachable and comfortable with mixing with students of different nationalities. In fact, he mixed with them a lot and was often seen helping the weaker ones with their studies. He is not the stereotyped university student who usually walks around carrying their thick text books, engaging in lively conversations and giving pinions. John Cole is seldom seen with books, except in classrooms. Even during tutorials, he seldom arrived with books in hands. But among his peers and professors, they know that he has the depth of knowledge that an average student lacks and he could articulate his thoughts in the most provocative and yet discerningly relevant way. “So, what you plan to do with your degree Dan?”, Cole starts the conversation. “Well, I will be going home to discuss over things with my folks and see what happens”, Daniel answers unconvincingly. “What about you John, what do you intend to do?”, Daniel’s turn to ask him. “I am emigrating to Australia, Dan”, Cole replies with a determined expression. “Not going for your PhD? You are the one we always thought mostly likely to go further.”, Daniel is pressing for his real intention of leaving England. “You mean why am I leaving England?”, he can read Daniel’s mind. “Yes. Why do you leave England at all?”, Daniel gives in. “Well, if you must know. I don’t like the politics here”, he answers. “Exactly which aspect of British politics you don’t like John?”, Daniel asks. “I don’t like the Government’s immigration policies”, he reveals. “You mean the British Government didn’t relax the policies enough?”, Daniel asks. “No. Just the opposite! They should have cut down the number of immigrants coming into this country”, Cole springs a surprise. “I will be damned!”, Daniel thinks to himself, trying to hide his controlled feelings. Cole’s answer really comes as a big shock to Daniel. For John Cole has very liberal views as far as politics is concerned. In fact, he has written thesis on ‘the need to help third world countries’ in terms of economy, education and opportunities. Daniel is lost with words momentarily, he looks fixated. “Don’t get me wrong Daniel, you know me over the years. Do I come across as a racialist to you?”, he knows what Daniel is thinking and he wants to change the way he thinks. “Do I behave like a person with a prejudiced belief that the English are more superior than others?”; Cole continues his explanation. “Then, why didn’t you like the Government’s relaxed immigration policies? I just can’t reconcile your behaviour with the way you think!”, Daniel exclaims. “Not liking one country’s immigration policies does not mean that the person hates its immigrants. It’s like the wise man who tells us that one can hate the crime but not the person. There is a difference. Know what I mean?”, Cole explains with all his usual wry sense of wisdom. “Cut out the philosophy shit, John. Stop talking in abstract terms. Be straight with me! Ok?”, Daniel tries another approach. “I happen to think that if we do not restrain the number of immigrants entering into this country, eventually Great Britain would not be so great anymore. It would be saddled with incorrigible social problems, unable to resolve security threats and losing our identity in the end ”, he still talks in abstract terms. “You see we were born and grown up in this land. We have been brought up to believe in and love our traditions, cultures, and way of life. But, the huge number of immigrants would threaten our way of life and change the British social landscape forever”, he finally reveals his real reason for immigrating. Cole’s is not alone in his view. For there have been substantial number of immigrants coming to settle down in the UK over the past few decades. They came from Ireland and the former colonies of the British Empire, such as India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, the Caribbean, South Africa, Kenya and Hong Kong, taking advantage of the British Government’s generosity in passing the British Nationality Act 1948 to allow the 800 million ‘subjects’ in the British Empire to live and work in the United Kingdom without needing a visa. These immigrants were largely economic migrants who were brought into the UK to fill a gap in the labour market for unskilled jobs since the end of the Second World War. The British became very concerned by the alarmingly large numbers of migrants which led to the British Government establishing a Cabinet committee in 1950 to find what they written as “ways which might be adopted to check the immigration into this country of coloured people from British colonial territories". But, more immigrants came in the late 60s. They were refugees from Kenyan and Uganda who wanted to escape tyranny and discrimination from their own national governments. These people had retained their British nationality granted under the British Nationality Act 1948. Some politicians were unhappy with this development and began to demand restraint in the British immigration policies. The most vocal opponent to immigration came from a Conservative MP called Enoch Powell. He was a Conservative Party MP from 1950 to1974. He attained infamy in 1968 when he made the controversial’ Rivers of Blood’ speech n Birmingham, warning the British people and their government on the dangers of unchecked immigration from Commonwealth nations. Powell was noted for his oratorical skills.
An excerpt from his speech, “As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood. That tragic and intractable phenomenon which we watch with horror on the other side of the Atlantic but which there is interwoven with the history and existence of the States itself, is coming upon us here by our own volition and our own neglect. Indeed, it has all but come. In numerical terms, it will be of American proportions long before the end of the century. Only resolute and urgent action will avert it even now.” His controversial outburst did not go down well and he was unceremoniously sacked from his position as Shadow Defence Secretary in the shadow cabinet of Edward Heath. “I don’t hate people. I am sure they are many fine people amongst them. I just find the erosion of my own traditions and culture offensive and immoral. Just look round you. Our British way of life is changing fast. Immigrants have set up their family shops all over our high streets. They open their shops day and night, seven days a week. They wives and children work in these shops and they also ask their relatives from their native countries to come over here to help in their shops. We don’t have enough housing for them; the dole queue is getting longer with increasing immigrants depending on social welfare. They don’t believe in birth controls; producing like rabbits. They speak in different tongues, believe in a different gods and partake in some strange beliefs and rituals. I don’t mind them practising their customs and beliefs in their own countries. They are going to breakdown the very fabric of our society. You need to stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone”, John Cole explains in earnest. I give up; I don’t want my brain to fill up along racial line. I am leaving”, John Cole confides with a beaten look on his face. “But, what is an English race anyway? Isn’t it true that you come from different races from the Continent? And immigration has been going in the British Isles for thousands of years The Romans, Saxons, Franks, The Vikings, Normans, Gypsies and even Jews have come to settle down in the British Isles. Why are they tolerated and not those peoples coming from the Commonwealth countries?”, Daniel tries to give the correct perspective. “You are right there my friend. The difference is all these people were different tribes of the same European race”, Cole is right too.
“Poor troubled soul”, that’s what Daniel thinks of Cole right now . “These Commonwealth citizens are going back to their Mother Land. It is enshrined in the British Nationality Act”, Daniel reasons.